People still watch boxing?

Where have you gone Mike Tyson?

Do you realize that they still do all this boxing shit on pay-per-view? Taylor vs. Pavlik is tomorrow night and I could care less. I remember being younger and fight night was fucking fantastic. In college we'd play cards, drink, smoke cigars and watch the fight on our very inexpensive viewing box. (Read: Black Box Cable) People knew the guys fighting and who they'd fought recently. There was genuine excitement during the undercards as the anticipation of the main event grew. These days? We gotta stay strapped. Wait that was Nate Dogg, let me try again. These days, in the words of the Madd Rapper, "tell em why you mad!"

-The undercards are almost always superior fights when compared to the main event. The general rule is the less money the fighters are being paid, the better the fight. Who would you be more afraid of, a guy fighting for food or a guy fighting for a 3rd BMW? Which guy do you think is gonna be more motivated? My solution, when ever a purse for a fight is over a certain amount the winner of the fight takes all. Fuck these guys being able to just go out there for 3 rounds, fall down and get paid $5 million. Winner take all.

-$50. At least. Do you know what my cable bill is already per month? Screw you HBO I already pay for your channel so now why do I have to pay for your pay-per-view shit for 5 hours a month? That's a double dip right there. It is a bitch to everybody to throw in money for the fight and even if you do get the money it's cash. Which you will spend long before the cable bill for the fight arrives. And then you can't figure out why your cable bill is $50 higher this month. And the 3 dudes who still owe you 5 bucks? Good luck with that.

-Starts at 8 PM ET usually. Main event starts sometime between 10 -12:30. It could be 5-5 1/2 hours from start to finish. That's a long time. Typically you start drinking even before 8. Which basically means that half of the views are asleep by the end of the fight. They need to find a way to start the main event at a set time. And ideally allow you to just buy the main event portion for less dough. Good luck with that though.

-Michael Buffer. What else ya got? I'm really sick of that same damn line. You got a video game out of it even. When you do all those drops on Stern it's kill. Spread your wings you bastard.

That's enough for now. I've already talked myself out of watching this fight tomorrow. Isn't the dunk contest on anyway?